A wedding party can be an intricate situation. Everyone is either asking or expecting to be part of your party and maybe you might disagree with their assumption. Likely you’re in wedding planning mode, and you’re figuring out who you should have as your bridesmaid or groomsmen in your wedding party. These people should be those who you imagine right by your side as you tie the knot. If this is you, then you came at the right time! Here are five rules to consider in choosing your wedding party.

1. Start with Family

Remember just because they are a family member does not mean you are obligated to have them a part of your wedding party. Every family situation is different. Some have siblings they’ve grown up with their whole life and in some cases found out a few years ago. A few questions I would ask are: Are you close to any of them? Have they been a part of your journey and relationship? And on top of that if you have a brother or sister, that does not necessarily mean they have to be your maid of honor or best man. In fact, if you guys aren’t close you can invite them to the wedding only.  

2. Who is Reliable?

Having someone who is trustworthy, responsible, and organized is a must in your wedding party.  Who is someone that can be there not only on your wedding day but actually be there by your side? You want a wedding party you can vent to when things get tough. Who is this person who you can lean on their shoulder when you’re sad or things might not be going as planned? Likely you want wedding planning to always be stress-free, but sometimes unexpected plans do come up. That is the reason why you want to make sure that the people who you want to be there as a bridesmaid or groomsmen are reliable.

3. Personality

There are so many personalities out there and some mesh well with others while some really  don’t get along. Ask yourself: what is each individual’s personality like? Is there someone who’s extroverted or introverted? Do you have someone who you can trust to plan your bridal shower or bachelorette party? Is there someone who can cause a lot of drama? This is important because if you know there are certain people or personalities that don’t get along you will have to decide if it’s worth the possible drama that might come up or to talk to each person or let them know your concerns. Hopefully, they will try to respect your wishes and not cause a scene, but you never know. In my personal opinion I wouldn’t want anyone in the wedding party who will make the day about them and stir the pot when it’s unnecessary. 

4. Budget

This is a very good topic as most people do not consider this and go straight to the bridesmaid proposals. What is the budget that you have per bridesmaid and groomsmen? What will each person be expected to contribute to a bridal shower or bachelorette party? Do you expect them to pay for their attire? Make sure that the person you invited, as a groomsmen or bridesmaid, understands their role in the wedding party. Everyone should be aware and in full agreement of your expectations and their role in the wedding party. 

5. Quantity

Not sure if you have been in a wedding before, but it is so much easier to have as few people in your wedding party as possible. If you have 4 people in the wedding party, then that is a good start. But if you have 15 men and 15 women, it can really get chaotic. A good way to cut down your wedding party is to think about your photos. When you look back years from now, are you going to have any punch or regret that a person was in your wedding party? Remember the more people you invite, the more planning and stress it may bring. 

As you can see there’s alot to consider before asking your friends and family. Make sure you give it enough time and talk to your partner about it. What do they think about your selection? Who are there selections? Having a conversation about your wedding party will help you both decide who your ride or dies are.